What couples really want from their suppliers: notes from the other side of the aisle

I'm writing this less than a week after our wedding, from our minimoon at Babington House. Yes, I am that business owner. The one who is constantly thinking about work, even (and most particularly) when she's supposed to be relaxing. If you asked ChatGPT to describe my personality right now, it would just come back with "wedding". Fair enough.

I wanted to get this down while everything is still fresh. I'm still a little overwhelmed with gratitude for the suppliers who went so far above and beyond to make our day special, and there's a proper roll of honour at the end for exactly that reason. But planning a wedding taught me something I already knew from running a business, just never from this side of the fence: the little things make all the difference to your clients' experience. They can also quietly make or break your business.

So here it is. Everything I noticed as a bride that I'd want to know as a business owner.

Your website is your shop window, and I'm judging it

Like many other brides, I spent hours and hours searching for every supplier under the sun. And the first thing that stood out was the number of small businesses that are clearly brilliant, if their Google reviews are anything to go by, but whose websites are so truly terrible that it entirely put me off getting in contact. Some were so bad I couldn't even find out how to contact them.

Maybe it's unfair, but my honest first thought was this: if you can't look after your own digital shop window, how am I supposed to trust you with my beloved wedding vision? As a bride, I'm not risking it. And I promise I'm not the only one thinking it.

Reply. Quickly.

I sent a lot of enquiries. A LOT. The number of people who took three or more days to respond genuinely astounded me. I can almost understand it if you're fully booked and can't help (almost). But so many of these suppliers had plenty of availability, and I was interested in using them!

Put yourself in my shoes for a moment. Everyone is telling me to book, book, book before all the good suppliers are gone. I'm buzzing with adrenaline, excited, nervous and entirely impatient. I've emailed 25 cake suppliers and I am ready to book one of them. I'm not waiting three days on the off chance that you might eventually reply.

This is the joy of running your own business. You reply in the evenings, at weekends, at the gym, in the shower if you must. I'll be honest about where I stand: I don't believe work-life balance really exists when you're growing a small business. You work seriously hard. And I promise you, it's the suppliers who respond most quickly that end up booking the most jobs.

Sound like you want to be there

On the topic of comms (I could write a book, as you can probably tell), the way you communicate with people makes a real difference. I am excited about my wedding day. If you are too, I'm far more likely to want to work with you. It's that simple.

So many of the responses I received just felt a bit unbothered. This is not the industry to be in if you're unbothered! Every single supplier we ended up booking made us feel like they genuinely cared about making our day special and were excited to be a part of it.

A special mention here for Fi at The Cotswold Platter Company, possibly the nicest person there ever was. Every contact with her was a joy, everyone who worked with her on the day commented on how great she is, and that's before we even get to how delicious and beautiful her platters are. That is the kind of word of mouth money cannot buy.

The quiet months, or what to do about swirling bride brain

So, I've booked you. Excellent! I've been super efficient and it's still nine months until the wedding, so there's nothing more to do for now. Great, speak six weeks before the big day.

All of which sounds perfectly sensible. Except that I am a bride, and I think about my wedding pretty much all the time. I will now spend the next seven months quietly worrying about every little detail, including whether you've forgotten about me and might not turn up on the day. At the same time, I completely understand that you have other clients to look after. You don't have time to constantly reassure me, and honestly there's no need to.

So what do we do with my swirling bride brain in the meantime? This is where a few tiny things go an awfully long way. A couple of our suppliers sent us something through the post. Thank you, Millie at Ditty Lens Photography. Receiving presents is always lovely, but it was about more than the parcel. What it actually told me was: we're locked in, she's taking this seriously, we're all good. My mind settled instantly, and it was massively appreciated.

There's obviously a cost to sending gifts and it won't be for everyone. But even a quick email confirming everything, with timelines and next steps, does the same job. So does a six month countdown message, or an interesting article you think we'd enjoy, or any small touch that simply says you haven't been forgotten. It costs you minutes. It buys your couples months of calm. And calm couples say lovely things about you to everyone they know.

Please take card payments

This one may be controversial. Please, please, please accept card payments. I know the reasons not to. I know there are card charges, and I know every penny counts when you're running a small business, believe me. But I guarantee you will get paid far more quickly.

Think about what that fee is actually buying you: far less time, effort and awkwardness chasing unpaid invoices. Weddings are expensive, and your couples are juggling payments to a dozen suppliers at once. Being able to put something on a credit card genuinely makes their lives easier. The suppliers who make paying easy get paid first, with the relationship still fully intact.

The final stretch

A few months out, it's time to finalise everything and get the details sorted. We felt very lucky that everyone we worked with made this stage feel relaxed. But a few small things are worth doing here, and most of them can be automated so they take none of your time.

Invoice reminders. A friendly note of the final amount and the date it's due, ideally slightly in advance. It's been a long time since we last discussed it, and it can take a little while to get your pennies together.

Form reminders. If you've asked for information or forms by a certain date, a reminder on that is useful too. Set it up once and let it run.

Comms, comms, comms. At this stage, communication becomes more important than ever. If I've filled in your form, I need to know it's been received, even if that's just an auto message. If my wedding planner messages you, we need a response, or at the very least an idea of how long one will take. I know wedding season is crazy and the plates never stop spinning. But if my wedding is in ten days and you aren't responding, I think it's legitimate to start feeling a bit nervous. Let me know that you've got me, and I promise not to bombard you with panicked messages.

The roll of honour

I want to finish by highlighting the people who showed us how it's done, because everything above is really just a description of how they behave.

The Wild Oven, our caterers, were great the whole way through and answered every single one of my annoying questions in the year leading up to the wedding. They also put on a beautiful pre-wedding tasting, which was one of my planning highlights.

The Cotswold Platter Company, whose grazing was as beautiful as it was delicious, and whose Fi was a joy from the very first email.

Gemma at Femme Petale, our florist, put together a beautiful proposal and had a fab client portal with all of our information in it, which kept my organised brain very happy.

Millie at Ditty Lens Photography, our photographer, whose thoughtful parcel in the run-up settled my bride brain in an instant, and whose beautiful photos are all over this article.

The Distractions covered our music for the whole day and were GREAT. So talented. I spoke to Joseph a lot in the lead-up, which really helped chill me out, and he was so accommodating to everything we asked.

Cayley Cochrane, our illustrator. The Fragrance Theory perfume bar. Switswoo photo booth. Frances McMahon, our videographer. Loupaper, our stationery. All amazing. And I can't forget Scrumptious Stacks, who made the crumble for our dessert. The kids (and me too) will be raving about it for years to come.

To the glam squad: Rikki Thomas, the best stylist there ever was (no one does a blow dry like him, it's official) and Pati Sanchez, who made us all look 10/10.

Euridge Manor. The best wedding venue in the UK, bar none. Beautiful and perfect, but also run by the nicest people, who made us feel so welcome from start to finish.

And last but absolutely not least, Melt Weddings, our wedding planners, who also handled all of our production and our bars. They are the example of how to do things as a wedding supplier. I could get properly soppy writing about how great they are, but I'll spare you all of that and simply say: they completely got us and our vision, and they had our backs the whole way through. The day was 100% perfect, and a huge part of that was down to them.

So, in summary: do what Melt do, and you'll be well on your way.